Assignment 8- Emma Snyder

 Fears: Losing my loved ones, being alone

Annoyances: People being rude, people who chew really loudly

Accomplishments: Getting good grades so far, getting into chamber orchestra

Confusions: Why does everyone have to be so hateful towards each other

Sorrows: Definitely weight as well

Dreams: Get married out of college with a good job, and maybe start a family

Risks: I want to move in with my boyfriend right after high school for college.

Beloved possessions: MANY stuffed animals that I still have to give a kiss goodnight every single day

Problems- Mental health

Well my problems actually work together with my beloved possessions almost- when I was like 4, I slept in my parents bed with them. I would go in and go to sleep while they watched something on tv and then came in later. I had just been tucked in when I had  the sudden urge to kiss everything in that room goodnight. Everything. Every wall, every pillow, every blanket, every shelf, even all the spokes of the fan. I turned it off and stacked up pillows just to reach it and I remember I didn’t know why, but I absolutely had to even though I didn’t want to. It actually took awhile cause I would think I got everything and then try and sleep but then I’d think of a bunch of other things that I hadn’t given a kiss goodnight to so I’d have to get up again. I remember crying as I did it because I didn’t want to but my brain was telling me I had to or something terrible would happen. I didn’t realise it until about 10 years later, but that was the first time I remember actually being affected by mental illness. My mom told me one day that my doctors always thought I had a bit of ocd, and when she told me about all the symptoms that weren’t the stereotypical “being a perfectionist,” I realized that was exactly what I had. I had always had a very specific routine before bed- things I needed to kiss goodnight, things I had to go ouch, light switches I had to switch or else I wouldn’t be able to sleep and I realized these were ocd rituals. I’d also always been very clean and I liked to shower a lot and constantly have my hair wet so I could feel like I just washed it and I realized this was a symptom of ocd too, and when my mom told me that it all made so much sense. All this to say, kissing my stuffed animals (and other things) goodnight has always been an important part of my routine and it’s something I still struggle with today. (Also, little PSA here but I’d like to mention that you should definitely educate yourselves before you say “you’re so ocd,” just because someone is neat or organized. I’m actually diagnosed with ocd and I can be quite messy so please try to educate yourselves on things like mental illness before you throw around a term you don’t even understand.)